I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize