I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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