i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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