Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I need moral support for this bender
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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