How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
