pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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