They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
