if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
