So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
