I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
