Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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