pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
