youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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