My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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