What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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