4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize