Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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