I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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