Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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