she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
