textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
