don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
