so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
