You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
