You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
