That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
