Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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