So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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