The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
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I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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