I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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