That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
