Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize