How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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