i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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