Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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