Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
