It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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