Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
