Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
