Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
