Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So squirting runs in the family.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
