Midget sex pt 2 tonight
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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