one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
