you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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