Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
