Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
