I bet he comes in French.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
