He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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