I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My liver just broke up with me...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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