problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
