last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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