Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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