IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
