Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
