i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
