Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
