Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Green mimosas i think yes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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