i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
