Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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