we have officially lost it.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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