just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
